Words and Stuff and Love

Previously posted on my Facebook page. Or written years ago, unedited/not updated.

IT seems so effortless. I say words or write poems to try to comfort worried hearts and ease clouded minds. As though I had it all figured out—that healing wounds or making someone feel better is something that I am “good at.” Like that silly song, “Handy Man” is saying: “I fix broken hearts, I know I truly can.” But do I know what love really is? I don't know. 

       It's an individual truth. I am confident I know somehow how to project love yet do I know how it really works? Depends on the person receiving and giving, right? Interplay of negotiations. Interface of compromises. What I share in the area of love, relationships and all these sweet shenanigans don't necessarily work for me. How I wish that I am the dude who receives advice rather than the one giving it. Yet it doesn't lessen my joy when someone—either here on Facebook or in my little shows—tell me, “You made me feel better.” 

       That's cool. That's all the hero I need to be. 💖💔💝

WHEN I look at some relationships, I wonder what really works? Yet I have been a witness to many relationships that work and those that didn't. There seems to be a pattern (at least with people that I know). Most of those that end in divorce appear to stand by the dictum, “I do my thing, you do yours” and “I keep my own money, you spend yours.” In other words, they try to sustain their singlehood freedom while under one roof. They tend to idealize family and explore new dimensions yet they fight a lot or they don't talk a lot. 

       The other one is what the first one calls “uptight” and conservative. This kind of couple shares all as per conjugal belongings—bank account, decisions, church, problems, even friendships. They even share one email address. They “lose” their individual-ness (as opposed to individuality) in a synergetic whole and functions as per an agreed plan and direction. They have more laughter than arguments. They don't put so much ado on how to correctly raise children—they worry more about education and trust fund. 

       Most of these unions carry on to their 30 year anniversary or longer. Of course, a relationship isn't black and white or polar extremes. Just saying. 💖💔💝